I had an “ideal man” wish list… I thought about what I wanted and I wrote it down. If you are single or perhaps when you were single, you may have had a wish list as well. The question is, have you updated it? Do the things that you wrote down on that piece of paper, represent what you are looking and hoping for today? I challenge you to take a look at your list and make some reflection. You have likely been dating and chances are, the things that you want are not on that list, OR maybe some of the things that were once important to you are no longer relevant.
I recently sat down and gave my list a “make over”. There are some things that I needed to change believe me, I don’t want the universe to have to fill in any blanks or make any guesses on my behalf! And I challenge you to do the same. We update our resumes don’t we? We take off what is no longer relevant and add new skills. Let’s do the same with this!
To get you started, think about these things:
Physically- what is it that you are truly attracted to. He does not have to be the sexiest man to your friends and family but is he sexy to you? What do you need to have an amazing sexual relationship. Don’t short change yourself. It does not make sense to have a wonderful guy but you are not attracted to him let alone want to make love to him! For me, I want a man that I can’t keep my hands off of so I MUST be attracted to him.
Mentally- What traits about this man will make you want to get into his head. Is he brilliantly smart? Is that something that you need? Is he great at common knowledge and seems to give the best advice… Figure that out now.
Spiritually- If this is important to you, write it down and be specific. Do you want a man that attends church regularly? Does he have to be the same religion as you? Or someone that is spiritually connected to a higher being and wants to share that with you. Do you want a partner that you can worship, pray or chant with-share the spiritual journey together with. Or perhaps none of this is important… Write it down.
Emotionally- Now here is where you should add some detail. Lots of detail because emotional connection, emotional maturity and emotional intelligence will play the hugest part in your relationship. You know what is important to you right? Be specific in the areas that will contribute to your relationships longevity.
Small yet BIG details- What are all the things that you want in a relationship that can make or break. Do you want a partner that wants marriage and family? Does he need to be wealthy? Does he need to be open to you having children already? Do you want someone that does not have children? Likes to travel? Loves his mother and is close to his family? Do you care if he is messy or not? These all seem small or like they can be figured out with the right person but that is just it, we want to attract that partner where you parallel each others wishes, hopes, and desires. We are the perfect dream girl to some great guy out there!
And most importantly, do a selfie… A self check of what you bring to the table. It is perfectly okay to be yourself but what areas in your life need a make-over. What are some things that need changing for the better? Do you have a dangerous temper? Are you emotionally lazy in that you don’t regularly contribute to the health of your relationship because of distractions and insecurities? Have you been told that you are a “know it all” and its annoying? The truth is, just as much as we want the ideal partner, we should work towards being the ideal partner ourselves.